


talk me down

by jrjsunflowers



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 19:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jrjsunflowers/pseuds/jrjsunflowers
Summary: TJ and Cyrus have been dating for two years until things suddenly come to an end and Cyrus is left trying to figure out where things went wrong.





	talk me down

In two years of dating TJ, Cyrus hasn’t been to his house once. He had vague memories of his mom picking TJ up back in middle school, but even then he had never been inside. In eighth grade news spread that he had come out and his dad banned him from seeing him, so the opportunity diminished pretty quickly.

Despite the ban their friendship was fairly easy to maintain, they’d just hang out at school. When TJ told Cyrus he was in love with him freshman year, things got slightly more complicated. At first his dad didn’t keep strict tabs on where TJ was but after his growing suspicions, he limited when TJ left the house. Because of this their relationship mainly consisted of texting, flirting at the gym TJ works at and finding every spare minute at school to meet up. Which got frustrating but they made it work. 

His dad was unemployed, which meant he was always home and always aware of what he was doing. Even when his dad is going to be gone for hours, he doesn’t risk it. So when TJ asked Cyrus to come by he read the text ten times over to make sure he wasn’t misreading it. 

He debated saying no for a while, but he did really miss him. Their school had been on break for the past week and their schedules haven’t lined up for them to hang out once. Inevitably this led him here, standing in front of a white house with a scattered layer of dirt. 

He had this idea in his head that he would be able to pick TJ’s house out of a line up if needed, but standing in front of this house there wasn’t even a slight spark of resemblance. The idea that the person who he knows inside and out sleeps here every day is something he can’t wrap his head around. 

He looked around making sure none of the neighbors could see him and knocked on the door. TJ immediately opened the door and pulled him into a hug. His clothes always had the faintest scent of cologne and fabric softener. He buried his face in the hoodie and hugged him back. “Are you sure your dad isn’t coming home anytime soon?” Cyrus whispered. 

“He said he’d be gone for hours,” TJ said. Cyrus smiled and tilted his head up to kiss him, something he rarely got to do. TJ pulled back and his eyes flickered to the open windows where the blinds had been torn down. “We should go to my room in case someone sees.” 

He followed him up the stairs to his room and TJ took a seat on the edge of his bed. Cyrus looked around, the room wasn’t what he was expecting. He thought his room would have bits of his personality strewn throughout it but it seemed like it could be anyone's room, anyone's life. 

He looked over to see TJ smiling at him. “I love you, you know that?” Cyrus said. 

TJ smiled and plopped down on the bed, patting the space next to him. Cyrus came over and placed his head on TJ’s arm and looked at the ceiling. There were a couple of star stickers stuck to the top, a few missing with some splotchy grey residue in their place. “I can’t wait,” TJ said. 

“For what?” He tilted his head slightly towards him. 

“When I can see you every day,” TJ said. He was absentmindedly tracing hearts on the back of his hand as he spoke. “When I call you my husband,” his voice lifted in excitement. 

Cyrus blushed and intertwined their hands. “What about little ones?” 

“Haven’t we talked about this a thousand times?” TJ said. 

“I like to be reminded,” Cyrus said, he tilted his head fully and looked at him. “Plus I like to tease you that you have names picked out already.” 

TJ pushed his arm lightly. “As if you didn't casually mention you already have your vows written.” 

Cyrus was about to respond when the sound of the front door creaking open could be heard. Cyrus held his breath as he heard footsteps head up the stairs. He looked at TJ who was frozen, his face had gone pale. The footsteps got closer and he jumped up and ran into his closet. He could hear that TJ’s door was open and there was talking but he couldn’t focus on what was being said over the sound of his heart racing. 

After it seemed quiet for a while he shakily opened the closet door. He saw TJ with his head in his hands and hugged him. The sound of the front door closing downstairs caused TJ to let out a sigh. “I shouldn’t have brought you here,” TJ said. 

“TJ, it’s okay. He’s gone,” Cyrus rubbed his back. They waited for a couple minutes and TJ headed downstairs to make sure he was gone. He headed down after he got a thumbs up from TJ. 

He almost went to give him a kiss but remembered the open windows and rushed out of the door instead. 

Outside the sound of a car door slamming caused Cyrus to jump. He looked in the direction of the sound and saw TJ’s dad glaring at him. His heart hammered in his chest as he ran towards the street. He looked back to see his dad heading inside. He ripped out his phone to text TJ and almost dropped it twice in the process.

Cyrus: I’m so sorry I think he saw me please don’t be mad at me

\----

Cyrus had been anxiously checking his phone all morning as he stood at his locker waiting for TJ to meet him there. He had been calling and texting all night and he didn’t get one response. He even broke and texted Amber last night asking if she knew anything but she didn’t respond either. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he tried not to let his nerves get to him as he checked what it said. 

Amber: I shouldn’t say anything it’s best you hear it from him

He looked at the clock on his phone and realized that TJ wasn’t meeting him by his locker today. 

\------

“TJ,” Cyrus called out. He was about to head into his science class but turned when he tapped his arm. His face was hard, a face he hasn't seen in years. “Did something happen?” Cyrus said, his voice coming out far more hurt that he wanted it to. 

“We can’t talk anymore,” TJ said, his voice was cold and harsh. Cyrus took a step back as the words hit him. 

“What- what are you- what do you mean? Ever? What are you talking about?” Cyrus said, his words tumbled out. 

“We can’t talk anymore, I can’t see you anymore,” TJ said. 

“TJ, just-” he stopped himself and took a choppy breath in. “Just tell me what happened please,” his voice gave out the more he tried to stop himself from crying. TJ stared straight through him and stayed quiet. “Please,” He whispered. 

TJ's eyes glossed over and his face softened. “I'm sorry,” he said and headed into the classroom. 

Cyrus skipped class for the first time all year. 

\-------

As he was got ready for school he dragged himself to the mirror to check that everything looked alright. He went to leave and noticed the love note he had taped to his door. 

Underdog! 

I was just thinking about something crazy. I know it may not seem like it, but I had a crush on you since the moment I saw you. I didn’t even make fun of you for not being able to get a muffin! that was so unlike me. I didn’t even realize it until a couple of minutes ago I was thinking about it and I was like, huh. 

I don’t blame you for not liking me at first, I was honestly not good enough for you. I still don’t think I am but I figure if I have you I must be doing something right. 

You make me a better person, just by believing in me. 

I hope you’re having a good day by the way! You look cute today and I know what you’re thinking “how do you know?” but I don’t have to see you to know because you’re an absolute cutie. 

Don’t tell anyone I used the word “cutie”

Happy one month! I hope we have a lot more months. 

Cyrus ripped the note down and held it to his chest as he collapsed to the floor. He tried to cover his mouth as he cried trying not to let anyone hear.

\--------

The next day at lunch Andi and Buffy were animatedly talking back and forth as Cyrus tuned them out. He was twirling his fork around on his trey when Buffy leaned down trying to meet his eye. “Where’s TJ?” She asked. He shrugged in response. 

“Did something happen?” Andi asked. 

“He broke up with me,” Cyrus said in a small voice. 

“What?! Why?” Buffy said. Cyrus shrugged again in response. “Cyrus, you can talk to us.” Andi scooted over closer to him and put an arm around him and rubbed his back. Buffy grabbed his hand and nodded. 

“That’s the thing, I really don’t know. I went to his house and I think his dad saw me leave and the next day he just,” Cyrus cut himself off. 

“Did you ask him why?” Andi said. 

“Of course,” He said. She pulled him closer and he set rested his head on her shoulder. 

“Who does that?” Buffy asked, her voice laced with rage. 

“Someone who has no respect for someone else's feelings that’s who,” Andi said. 

He remembered that Andi and Buffy had half lunches due to a project they were working on and checked the time. “Don’t you guys have to go?” 

“We aren’t going today, you need us more,” Buffy said. 

“No, please go. I don’t want you guys to get behind,” he said. Buffy started to protest but he continued. “Seriously, don’t hold yourself back because of me. I’ll be fine.” 

They hesitated for a moment but stood up. “If anything happens, text us. We’ll come back.” He nodded. They both gave him a hug and left. 

He looked around at everyone in the lunchroom. They were all absorbed in their own conversations. He looked at the table in the back and that’s when he saw TJ. He was sitting by a couple of his teammates on the basketball team. He looked like he was angry, almost, until a boy leaned in to say something to him and he laughed. Cyrus shot up and ran out of the cafeteria. 

He headed towards the classroom where his debate team takes place. It was also a music room and he knew that the music teacher was at lunch during this hour. He looked around, the room was empty but the light was on. “Cyrus?” He looked in the direction of the voice and saw Jonah on the floor with a guitar on his lap. 

He and Jonah used to be really close friends in middle school, he even had a crush on him at one point. Once they got to high school they were still friends, but not as close. “Hey Jonah,” He said with a slight wave. 

“It’s been a while,” Jonah said with a smile. “How are you?” 

“I’m alright,” He said. He noticed a bunch of papers surrounding Jonah on the floor. “What are you working on?” 

“It’s a song,” Jonah said. Cyrus nodded at him to continue. “It’s about anxiety.” 

He remembered talking Jonah down a couple of times when they were younger. “You still struggle with it?” 

“I have generalized anxiety disorder, so it’s always going to be a struggle. I’ve gotten better at managing it, I’m seeing a therapist now and she helped me come up with a few methods. Music is really helpful too, it gets my mind of off things and gives me something to focus on,” he explained. 

“I’m glad,” He smiled. “I remember when you performed that one in the cafeteria.” 

Jonah laughed. “That song was a mess. I was a mess.” 

“Nah, it was docious magocious,” he said. 

Jonah hid his face with his hands. “Oh my god, that was the worst thing anyone has ever said. Why did I think I was cool for that? 

“It worked for everyone else too. You spoke like that and you were popular,” he said, he laughed at the memory. 

“You thought I was popular? I was not popular, I played ultimate frisbee. You, Andi and Buffy were the popular ones,” he said. 

“What are you talking about?” Cyrus asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“You didn’t notice? I only got mildly popular after hanging out with you guys,” He stared at Jonah, his face painted with doubt. “Think about it Andi organized a party that half the school went to, Buffy was the first girl on the boys basketball team, and the news of Andi’s mom was something everyone talked about for weeks. Are you telling me that none of you realized you were popular?” Jonah asked. 

Cyrus thought back for a moment, he had a point. “My fifteen minutes of fame is over and I didn’t even enjoy it,” he said. 

Jonah laughed and shook his head. “You were friends with TJ too, who used to be captain of the basketball team. Speaking of, I noticed things seemed tense between you two. Did something happen?” 

Cyrus frowned, he actually managed to forget about TJ for a moment. “We broke up.” 

Jonah was quiet for a beat of time. “I’m sorry, you and TJ dated?” Jonah asked. 

He nodded. “For two years.” Jonah looked taken aback. “We were private about it, don’t feel bad. I think his dad, uh, found out. He didn’t tell me though, just ended it.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jonah said. “That sounds rough.” Cyrus hugged himself and nodded. 

\------

The next day at lunch Jonah sat down at the table with Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi. “Hey Andi, how are things with you and Walker?” Jonah asked.

She smiled at him. “They’re really good.” 

“How are things with you and.. I’m sorry, I lost track,” Buffy said. 

Jonah laughed and awkwardly rubbed his neck. “Yeah, I don’t blame you. I decided to take a breather on dating and figure things out. I realized I’m bisexual, so at least I’m getting better with labels.” 

“You hear that Cyrus? He’s bisexual,” Buffy said, she raised her eyebrows. 

Cyrus chuckled and shook his head. “Jonah, you have no idea but back in middle school that would have been life-altering news to me.” 

“No idea? Buffy literally carried you away from me once,” Jonah nudged him. 

“You knew?” Cyrus said. 

“Not back then, but I thought about it later. You were so obvious until-” he cut himself off. Cyrus’ smile dropped. “I’m sorry,” Jonah whispered. 

He was fighting the urge to look at the table TJ was at but finally he glanced over to find TJ already staring at him. His expression was one that Cyrus recognized, everytime he was hurt he tried to cover it by being angry. It was a face he wore every time they got into a fight. 

Jonah poked his arm and he turned to face Jonah instead. “Gus is throwing a party this weekend,” Jonah said. 

“There’s no way we could get into one of Gus’ parties,” Andi said. 

 

“He invited me,” Jonah said, he had a soft smile as he spoke. He wondered if there was something between them. “He said I can invite whoever I want, so this is me doing that.” 

“Can I bring Marty?” Buffy asked. 

“And Walker?” Andi chipped in.

“Of course,” Jonah said. 

“We’ll see you then. We have to go now but I’m looking forward to it.” Andi said. Both the girls gave Cyrus a hug as they left. 

“You’re coming to the party too, right? It’ll be fun,” Jonah said 

Cyrus hesitated but he noticed how hopeful Jonah looked and nodded.

\--------

The week leading up the party had dragged on so Friday night Cyrus was not looking forward to tonight. All week he debated going up to TJ and demanding a reason why but stopped himself every time. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if the answer was just that he wasn’t good enough. 

He straightened out his shirt for the fifth time. He had a very small amount of experience when it came to parties. There was that one party Andi through back in middle school, but Bex was there. He doubted that Bex would have stopped it from getting too wild, but it never did. 

This was Gus’ party though, his parties were known for being wild. 

It was almost funny to him how much Gus has changed. He used to be like him in some ways; nerdy and obsessed with Jonah. Now they couldn’t be more different. 

He heard a car horn blare and ran downstairs. He carefully shut the door behind him and rushed out to Marty’s car. Buffy was in the front seat so he slid in the backseat next to Walker and Andi and they took off. 

A few minutes into the drive he noticed that Walker didn’t have his arm around Andi as usual and got worried. He looked and noticed that Buffy and Marty weren’t holding hands above the console either. “I’m fine, you guys. You can be normal,” he said. 

Walker smiled and hugged him. “Is this what I normally do? I don’t remember,” Walker said. 

Andi reached over and hugged the both of them. “I’m pretty sure this is what we normally do.” 

Buffy reached over the back of her seat and tried to hug them the best she could from the angle. “You’re so right, Cyrus. Normal it is,” she said in a serious tone. 

Cyrus laughed and pushed them all off. “Okay, this is officially dangerous.” 

They pulled over in front of a house and Cyrus opened the car door. He was immediately met with the sound of music blasting. He wondered if Gus’ neighbors were the type to complain but tried to hush that part of himself. 

Inside Cyrus found Jonah absorbed in a conversation with Gus in the front entrance. Jonah said something to him and he seemed to pout, but he nodded and Jonah went over to meet the group. “Ay you guys made it.” Jonah smiled. 

“We’re going to go get stuff to drink,” Buffy said to Cyrus. 

“We’ll come too,” Walker said referring to him and Andi. 

Cyrus nodded and turned to Jonah. “So what’s up with you and Gus?” Cyrus teased. Jonah looked confused but before he could respond Cyrus heard someone call his name. He looked over and saw Amber heading towards him. He could feel his heart in his throat as she approached him. “Hey Amber,” Cyrus said. He hoped that her being here didn’t mean that TJ was here too. 

Her eyebrows were furrowed. “What are you doing here?” 

“I invited him,” Jonah interjected. 

She looked between the two of them. “What is going on between the two of you?” Her voice came out aggressive. 

“What do you mean?” Cyrus asked. 

She stared at him for a moment. “Nothing,” she shook her head and walked away. 

The next hour he spent clinging to Jonah’s side. Andi and Buffy tried to be there for him but he urged them to go be with their boyfriends. He was glad he had Jonah, now more than ever. He preferred their friendship now as opposed to middle school. Back then he saw Jonah as this boy he was lucky to get to hang out with, now he saw them as equal. 

Jonah led him to the kitchen and Cyrus hopped on the counter. He started pulling random items out of the fridge. “What are you doing?” Cyrus asked. 

“You’ll see,” Jonah said. He tells him to close his eyes and a couple minutes later Jonah hands him a drink. “Okay, guess what’s in here.” 

He tilts the cub and is hit by a couple of different flavors, the main one being a fizzy almost sour taste. “Is this sprite and cranberry juice?” he asked. 

“Yes! But there’s one more,” Jonah said. 

Cyrus goes to take another sip and the door opens. He looks over and sees TJ. 

TJ looks angrily between the two of them for a moment. Cyrus looked down at the cup he’s holding on his lap and waited for him to leave. “So, what, you’re with Jonah now?” TJ asked, his voice coming out shaky. 

Cyrus looks up at him and doesn’t say anything. He knew he should deny it, but this was the first time TJ talked to him in a week. TJ’s angry face softened and he closed his eyes. He glanced at the two boys again and headed outside from the back door. 

“You should go after him,” Jonah said. “At least let him know that you still love him.” 

He sighed and hopped off the counter. Outside he saw TJ sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands. He walked up behind him and kicked the snow next to his foot on the porch. “I’m not with Jonah,” Cyrus said. The frosty air whipped at Cyrus’ face and he dug his hands in his pockets. After a minute of no response, he took a breath in and called out his name. 

TJ looked up at him, his face had a shine where a few tears had fallen. “Maybe not yet,” TJ said. He sounded heartbroken which made Cyrus want to scream at him and hug him and never let him go. 

“You left me,” Cyrus said. 

TJ sucked a breath in and closed his eyes. “Please just leave me alone,” He said. 

“You left me,” Cyrus said, he surprised himself at how angry his tone was. “With no explanation, nothing to grasp on to. I couldn’t even ask why because,” Cyrus noticed a tear falling and wiped it away. “I was so scared to hear that you just didn’t want me anymore, but you don’t get to do this I need something.” Cyrus blinked back tears as he yelled. 

TJ stood up and pulled him into a hug. He was frozen until he was hit by the familiar scent of cologne and laundry detergent. He broke and buried his face in his jacket and wrapped his arms around him. 

“I was scared,” TJ whispered. 

“Of what?” Cyrus asked. 

He felt TJ pull him closer against his chest. “I’ve always known that if my dad found out it’d be bad, but I didn’t care because anything he did would be aimed at me.” 

“TJ, that’s not okay,” Cyrus said. 

“Yeah well..” TJ trailed off. “I didn’t even think about the possibility of him doing something to you.”

“You think he’s capable of that?” Cyrus said. 

TJ looked at sadly at him. “I love you, more than anything, but if something did happen I couldn’t live with myself.” 

Cyrus placed his hands on either side of TJ’s face and wiped away a tear. “TJ it sounds like your dad made a genuine threat, there are other ways to deal with this. We can talk to my mom and figure out what the best thing to do is.” Cyrus said.

TJ’s shoulders relaxed for the first time all week. “Really?” 

Cyrus stood on his toes and pressed his forehead against TJ’s. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” TJ nodded.

“Never do that to me again,” Cyrus said with a laugh. 

“Never again,” TJ pulled him close by his lower back and kissed him.


End file.
